Another Firework display on Hawaii leaves 10 dead

As if to show that the national holiday is set to become an annual event, another large explosion has been reported from the SHADO launch facility near Honolulu. The one stage rocket carrying an orbital satellite exploded on the launch pad killing 10 technicians on the ground. An initial investigation has shown that this rocket suffered a similar failure to that of GOSsiP's launch last year, but the near total destruction of the rocket and the launch site has meant that firm details on the cause of the problem is proving difficult to ascertain.¹

Sabotage ruled out at SARSA

Despite the ruling out of sabotage as the cause of the failure of the suspected South African spy satellite, Johannesburg has imposed a significant budget cut to SARSA before approving the transfer of funds to the agency. On the 20^th of December, a launch from SARSA failed when the rocket carrying the government satellite exploded at a height of 15,000 feet. The initial countdown proceeded normally and the explosion was the first (and last) sign of trouble with the mission. Fortunately the rocket's height at the time of the explosion avoided any ground casualties and so the safety rating of SARSA's one stage rocket remains unchanged at 85%.

Suspected surveillance operations

After unexpected progress at SARSA in their interplanetary satellite program many agencies, including at GOSsiP, have blamed loose talk². GOSsiP also suspect that some of the data on their one stage rocket program may have helped SARSA's three stage rocket program, although GOSsiP's scientists did express surprise that a program whose main achievement to date has been a large crater could possibly help anybody's program!

Meanwhile attempts in Australia to close the many bars and pubs surrounding the Woomera launch facility following the discovery of a major leak in the three person capsule program has met with outright rejection by the staff at the facility. Smaug Inc. is suspected of using espionage to raise the safety factor of their three person capsule to match that of ASA's similar program.³

Dr. Venus' bug discovery

The discovery of a nest of a venomous spiders infesting the newly installed electronics in ASA's three person capsule has important safety implications for the future say independent experts. Dr. Venus was in charge of rechecking the capsule for safety and cleaniness following a recent ground test of the capsule. Her discovery of a colony of funnel-web spiders hiding in the clothing lockers of her male colleague's lockers has led to both a major review of the capsule's safety features and to her induction into ASA's astronaut program. It is expected that she has averted at least one major capsule problem that might have occurred in flight⁴.

Spam in a can furore

The description by Einar Gerhardsen, prime minister of Norway, of Maja Hansen as Spam in a can, just waiting to be cooked. has caused outrage at the agency, and a general reluctance to apply for further positions as astronauts at the agency. While the agency admitted that part of the crater at Julianehåb was now used for Summer Solstice barbecues, it said that it has yet to kill any astronauts and it did not recognise the situation described by the prime minister.⁵

Big science push at SHADO

SHADO has embarked a major mission to promote science and provide additional education into mathematics and probability theory. Although the results have not yet been reflected in successful launches, it is expected that this push will be reflected in research conducted by the agency during 1960⁶.

Calls for review of R&D at GOSsiP

After the very slow progress on the revamp of the two stage rocket program at GOSsiP (now rated with a safety factor of just 36% after some concerted research efforts), many at the agency are calling for a review of the research methods used and have threatened the research team with a whole scale review of the program⁷

Lift off is a dangerous venture

Since the beginning of the space race, attempting to get anything off the ground has proven to be a dangerous business. So far, of the five launches attempted, three have exploded on the launch pad, one shortly after launch and only one has so far made into space and into orbit. Observers note that lift off from the launch pad is one of the most dangerous parts of any space mission, with the theoretical re-entry stage of a capsule also being described as quite risky if anything goes wrong.

Launch Calendar

The provisional calendar for launches planned in 1960 (assuming none of the missions are rushed or scrubbed) is as follows:

10^th Oct

Launch by GOSsiP ⁸

15^th Dec

Manned Launch of at least two crew members by ASA as ordered by the Australian Government in 1955

20^th Dec

Launch by Smaug Inc.

---

Last updated: December 21, 2021 at 19:38 pm

31 May 2017

Updated to reflect launch window of GOSsiP's planned mission

27 July 2017

Clarified footnote 4

---

First people in Space

Australia first to safely visit Earth Orbit

On the 15^th of December ASA launched the first manned mission into space. With a three person crew consisting of Colonel Steve Zodiac, Captain Ken Ross and Dr. Venus, this first mission was a manned orbital with several orbits included in the flight plan. In a press release ASA said ASA has now reached the position where it feels confident to launch a mission for an Australian three person crew to orbit the Earth and return. Questions from reporters asking why Professor Matt Matic was not going along for the ride, ASA responded that they felt Prof Matic had a greater contribution to make from ground control and that the decision had absolutely nothing to do with mitigating against earlier sexual discrimination charges. When asked why a simpler sub-orbital mission was not on the cards as this would also meet the Australian Government's instruction. Steve Zodiac replied Hey, we've got the cojones to get ahead in this game and we're gonna do it!!

Despite fears for the mission safety after the decision to skip the previously considered important steps of an orbital satellite and a manned sub-orbital¹, the initially high safety ratings of both the two-stage rocket and the three person capsule meant this mission went without a hitch (and, in fact, the re-entry stage of the mission, considered to be one of the most dangerous parts of the mission, achieved almost total perfection, with even the expected communications blackout lasting only a couple of seconds).

The Australian government is reported to be extremely proud and has voted an initial increase of $60,000,000 to ASA's budget².

Not a disaster, but...

GOSsiP attempted a Lunar Probe/Mars Fly-by on the 15^th of October. The rushed launch of two months was required to meet the only possible launch window for this mission attempt and the difficulties were compounded by the lack of experience in GOSsiP in successful satellite missions³. Unsurprisingly the mission was cancelled after automated mission abort occurred at T-3 seconds. Initial investigations of the countdown abort revealed that the problems that led to the explosion of the two stage rocket in 1958 have not yet been completely solved and experts now rate the two stage rocket as having only a 29% chance of a completely successful launch⁴. As a result of the countdown abort, that particular rocket itself cannot be reused, but the satellite it was carrying was safely recovered from the launch site and can be reused.

First Orbital Satellite from Smaug Inc.

Continuing the run of non-explosive launches this year was Smaug Inc. on the 20^th of December. Their successful mission means that finally a second orbital satellite has been added to that of SARSA in 1958, thus becoming the second agency to successfully launch an orbital satellite⁵.

Setback to Smaug Inc.'s three person capsule

The discovery that some parts of Smaug Inc.'s three person capsule have been constructed from aluminium has caused consternation amongst engineers in the program. The discovery of the use of the metal, which has a relatively low melting point (although lightweight) has reduced the safety factor of the program by 10% until replacement materials can be researched.

Colonel Zodiac's flu

Official reports that ASA's Colonel Steve Zodiac has succumbed to a dose of influenza following his trip into space are causing a considerable number of conspiracy theories to arise. Various alternative theories have been suggested, including that the Colonel has been infected by some new kind of space virus or that his previous bronze physique has been changed by the trip such that he has been called The Thing by his fellow crew members. However many observers suspect that he has been visiting the Amber Nectar Brewery experience, which has twenty times the number of visitors to nearby Space City's educational tours⁶.

Scandinavian Governments to refocus on social program

GOSsiP officials are reported to examining carefully several statements by Denmark, Sweden and Norway that, due to a worry that the space budget is being wasted on pretty fireworks, GOSsiP's budget is to be halved so that $39,000,000 can redirected into social programs in the region. Suggestions that firework manufacturers in Copenhagen have been funding a lobbying campaign are being pooh-poohed by GOSsiP officials who point out that the competition is much more dangerous.

Accident at Johannesburg Satellite Factory

A recent quality check at JoSat, the company producing the satellites for SARSA, revealed that it's clean room wasn't as clean as the team expected. The finding of an aardvark within the perimeter led to the discovery of a termite mound within the facility itself. Official report that the damage by the termites to some of the internal wiring has actually helped the program to discover new ways of routing the electronic messages which will mean that it is expected that future problems in the satellite can be fixed while the satellite is in flight⁷.

Dr. Von Graun defects from SHADO to SARSA

The noted space scientist has found Hawaii to be too hot; too volcanic and too susceptible to tsunamis and has decided to move to safer climes in South Africa. This is expected to impact SHADO's research program while a replacement is hired, while SARSA has quickly hired the professor⁸.

Amber Nectar not a coolant

The rumours originating in Australia that the Amber Nectar would be used as a coolant were quickly scotched by Professor Matic of ASA who rightly pointed out that, as alcohol was a component of the Amber Nectar, it wouldn't be brilliant to try using it as coolant.

Major Recruitment Program at Smaug Inc.

Rumours that the Smaug Inc. launch facility is based in the South Pacific may explain the sudden surge in recruits to the new Smaug Inc. Astronaut program. A total of six astronauts have been inducted into the program, enough to provide multiple crews for the three person capsule program.

Launch Calendar

The provisional calendar for launches planned in 1961 (assuming none of the missions are rushed or scrubbed) is as follows:

1^st Dec

Launch by GOSsiP

15^th Dec

Launch by Smaug Inc.

31^st Dec

Launch by Smaug Inc.⁹

---

Last updated: December 21, 2021 at 19:38 pm

Added planned launch by GOSsiP

---