Le Journal de Paris de février 1624

L’Ark de Triomphe a success

A safer form of the ostrich racing?

Despite a low turnout for the event of the month, the grand menagerie race and the associated activities proved to be a fairly successful day for the organisers, Phillipe Lemoine and Gulliame De Batz. The day itself was overcast, but at least the mud of the street had a delightful crust for the racers to crunch through. The day started with an initial set of races to determine the fastest animal of each type. Getting the ostriches to race proved relatively easy after the stand providing mulled wine to the spectators collapsed in flames (it appears that the stallholders weren't watching over the candles used to keep the mulled wine to temperature), bu the armadillos proved to be much more reluctant to race and embarrassingly were eventually overtaken by the tortoises that had only been added to the roster as an additional late entry by a pair of enterprising bookies.

Before the main event, Guillame rose to make his challenge to Phillipe: Phillipe, you scoundrel, you leave me no choice but to challenge you to a duel, to which Phillipe quickly responded with Accepted, I choose to fight with Lances with us mounted on these Ostriches..... Although there was some mutterings as to whether this was an honourable way to settle the issue¹, the road was quickly cleared by Albert Kestrel and his quickly organised band of gofers all ably overseen by Élisabeth Beaumont. One of the nearby stalls was dismantled to be converted into lances and then Phillipe and Guillame retreated to opposite ends of the road and attempted to mount their new steeds. Their first attempt was marred for both of them when their respective ostriches dodged their dramatic leaps with the pair ending up in the mud. After their mounts had been recaptured both took a more cautious approach and eventually both were on their ostrich. They then attempted to do the run down the street towards their opponent. While Guillame was able, miraculously, to keep his balance and keep his steed on the line of the street, Phillipe was less lucky as his ostrich dove down a side street, reaching Le Pont Neuf and dodging around La pompe de la Samaritaine, dumping the unfortunate Phillipe into the Seine.

After the rescue of Phillipe from the waters, and a short break for him to recover his composure (and luckily he was otherwise unhurt), Phillipe declared himself to have lost the joust on grounds that Guillame had, at least, managed a run down the course without losing his way!²

The final race of the day was then easily won by the Guillame's ostrich Gisèle Barthélemy awarded him the grand prize cup in her role as Queen of the Revels and the winnings from his bets on himself!

Marquis of Sillery dismissed by Louis XIII

His Majesty, King Louis XIII is looking to form a new council after dismissing the Marquis of Sillery from his court for the financial irregularities in the foreign affairs department. Attempts by the marquis to prevent further investigation seem to have failed and the ramifications of the plot have yet to become clear.

Mariembourg falls to the Royal North Highland Regiment

Frontier Regiments try new mentorship programme

After a furious assault, the town of Mariembourg has been taken by the frontier regiments preparing the route for this summer campaign. The assault was led by the elite Royal North Highland Regiment who broke through the town gates after a very short siege of only a couple of days. However it seems that the inhabitants had attempted to set a trap for our brave frontier forces when the main force was ambushed inside the town itself as it attempted to assert its control of the main square of the town. Control was re-established after two days of heavy fighting³.

Those concerned for the well being of our raw recruits will be relieved to hear that the frontier regiments have adopted a mentorship scheme to attempt to improve the general survivability of the regiments. In the scheme raw recruits are looked after by veterans of earlier campaigns to stop them from making simple errors of judgement and help them gain some initial experience⁴.

Guillame De Batz turns to Bernadette Cuvier's shoulder

Following his success at L’Ark de Triomphe, Guillame De Batz has been seen with the stunningly beautiful Bernadette Cuvier who has apparently already forgiven him for forgetting about Saint Valentine's Day on the 14^th. To be fair to Guillame, it seems that almost all of the gentlemen in Paris (with the honourable exception of Phillipe Lemoine) had also ignored this most auspicious day leaving the ladies of Paris somewhat disappointed.

Flora Pernet and Marius Thibodeaux

We have managed to find another example of Marius's poetry (suggestions that, perhaps, Flora is our source cannot be confirmed or denied!):⁶

Full well I know how fortunate am I
That hath the beauteous Flora hand in mine
And when apart, my thoughts to her must fly
And comfort seek in memory of her eyne

Suggestions that Marius's application to join the Picardy Musketeers was only accepted after Flora Pernet was seen visiting the Regiment headquarters are being refuted by the regiment. Colonel Henri d'Alembert⁷ is quoted as saying We do not judge recruits based on their connections even when Mademoiselle Pernet visits. On the other hand rumours suggest that Marius' application was on the verge of being rejected...

Investment opportunities abound

After the 40% investment returns from financial investments that was drawn by investors last septembre, many of the richer gentlemen in Paris are considering whether to make investments before the summer. The potential returns are high, but then so are the risks that the investments may turn sour and require yet more funds to keep the investment solvent⁸.

Le Perche du Coudray Updates

Le Perche du Coudray, the famous fencing master, offers his congratulations to Albert Kestrel, who has now completed a course of Coudray's rapier training and whose Rapier Expertise is rated at 11.

Regimental News

Picardy Musketeers

Marius Thibodeaux joins B company as a private. Aline Yar joins C company as a private.

We regret that we were unable to accept an application from Albert Kestrel - better luck next time.