Le Journal de Paris de mars 1624

Mariambourg Bravery

Alembic D'Gustion, Harry Covert, Jean Huile show off their uniforms

We can be proud of our troops and in particular the gentlemen we have been following closely. All of them were mentioned in dispatches for their bravery (and in some cases extreme bravery). In the event most of them have returned safely to Paris with their tales of bravery and with bulging purses with their gains from the sacking of Mariambourg.

Sadly we have to report the death of Alembic D'Gustion¹ whose bravery in charging the light cannon set up by the inhabitants as part of their ambush led to the outflanking of their position as they concentrated their fire on Alembic D'Gustion as he charged their position. This action allowed Harry Covert and Jean Huile to use this as a distraction to achieve positions in the adjacent building and then bravely chopped down the supports of the wall dividing them from the light cannon and they dived through the wall as the floor above collapsed².

Fourier Transformée and Côte de Boeuf gained their mentions in dispatches during the initial assault on the town. M. Transformée was assigned to the sappers that tunnelled under the town gate. He was mentioned in dispatches for his brave defence of the tunnel after it accidentally broke into the cellar of the gate³. Côte de Boeuf was assigned to the squad that followed up when the town gate was opened and rallied his squad after the death of the subaltern originally assigned to the squad⁴.

Cardinal Richelieu condemns Huguenot perfidy

Responding to the reports from the action at Mariambourg Cardinal Richelieu has condemned the treachery of the heretics who had set up the ambush of the frontier regiment as it set about arrangements for the surrender of the town. The Cardinal was very clear that this was a demonstration of the lack of honour and trust that is regularly displayed by the enemies of France, both those inside and outside of the country.

Pineapple Party is the event of the month

Presentation of the pineapple

Guillame De Batz and Phillipe Lemoine stunned Paris society with their display and subsequent consumption of a whole pineapple - especially imported from Guadeloupe in the Caribbean Islands. The display drew many admirers from across Paris, including a few from the royal court itself (it is said that the visitors from the court were attracted by the opportunity to actually taste the fruit (it being normally reserved for the royal table itself and those able to afford the hundred crowns for an individual fruit.

Among those attending the party included Albert Kestrel, Marius Thibodeux and somewhat bemused René Descartes, a young lawyer who gained his degree at the University of Poitiers and visiting Paris to learn more about potential clients.

Release for Mlle. Transformée?

One person who will be particularly pleased by the bravery shown by Fourier Transformée will be his sister, Hélène. She was detained by M. Sillery last year and her brother's letter shows that the family is most supportive of the current regime:

I hope that this reaches you, it's been such a long time. know that when I eventually make my fortune that I will see you released. With the first sign of spring weather, I find that my fine blue winter coat is now a brown-coat, mud is everywhere. There is enough wood to to keep us warm with a Fire. Fly's make life a hell here. My normal serenity is somewhat shattered as I look over the valley, mist and smoke from musket fire mask any birdsong or green fields.
For the glory of king Louis this war will see unification with the misguided enemy.
Vive La France!

The bravery of the Transformée family, together with the fall of the Marquis Sillery lends hope for the release of Hélène⁵.

Splendid oration after La Reine d'Ecosse

Attendees at latest staging of La Reine d'Ecosse were treated to an oratory written by Marius Thidobeaux as an epilogue to the play⁶:

The goddess Aphrodite wept in vain
And all Olympus marveled at her tears
The many beauteous nymphs that formed her train
Wept with her, to the wonder of their peers.
"What ails thee?", cried Ares, god of war
"Perchance some mortal fool hath slighted thee?
Tell me his name that falsely thee abhor
A bitter vengeance shall I work on he."
"Alas," the lovely goddess wailed aloud,
"I fear 'tis jealousy that makes me weep Like raindrops tumbling earthwards from a cloud
Tormenting me so that I cannot sleep.
You call me fair, whose eyes are red and wet But FLORA is accounted fairer yet!"

Victoria Gainsbourg charmed by Roget Thésaurus

Despite hints of interest from Omer Dalors, Victoria continues to be charmed by Roget Thésaurus. She was treated to an excellent picnic and conversation on the outskirts of Paris⁷.

Aurélie Pueyrredón stays single

Despite the attentions of Sir Alex Kuzbidon, Mlle Pueyrredón has, so far, rejected his advances. Perhaps his bad luck has aided the good luck of (most of) those who joined the frontier regiments!

Regimental News

Queen's Own Carabineers

We regret that we are unable to accept an application from Albert Kestrel at this time.

Picardy Musketeers

Aline Yar is promoted to Subaltern in C company.

13^th Fusiliers

Captain Omer Dalors stands accused of ungentlemanly behaviour. He is called before a board of inquiry in three months time⁸.