ASA accepts government Challenge
In an official press release, "ASA is proud to announce commencement of a mission to send three of its astronauts into orbit. The first stage will be the development and construction of the first of a planned series of XL rockets at the Space City facility at Woomera". Amongst intense speculation on the make-up of the first crew, ASA has been the subject of a lawsuit from the noted French astrophysicist Dr. Venus who is claiming that despite her doctorate on the gravitational effects of the Moon, Sun and Jupiter on Earth Orbital mechanics she had been reduced to making coffee and fetching the amber nectar for the rest of the team while being referred to as the "French Sheila". At the time of press it was unclear as to when the industrial tribunal will be held.
SHADO makes major breakthrough
Scientists at the space habitation agency have announced a major breakthrough in habitation technology with a highly advanced free standing tent design using curved poles instead of straight poles which allow the tent to be quickly constructed on site while minimising the size of the tent when it is transported. A spokesman for the SHADO board is quoted as saying "This is all very interesting, but I wish our satellite and rocket scientists would do the research they were paid to do rather than plan their next camping holiday..."1.
Robert Dyer joins SARSA research labs
The noted botanist Robert Dyer has joined the SARSA research labs on secondment from the National Herbarium in Pretoria. It is expected that Dr. Dyer's organisational genius will significantly improve SARSA research capability in the coming year2.
Corruption found in GOSsiP
In a story completely unrelated to the move by Dr. Dyer, the Scandinavian governments performing the first annual audit of the research programs started by GOSsiP have been stunned to discover major corruption and outright fraud in the orbital satellite program. A government official is reported as being "very disappointed - First we fund major repairs at Julianehåb and then discover funds being siphoned off - we need some better luck"3.
GOSsiP accused of spying on ASA
Australian officials have accused GOSsiP of spying on their two stage rocket program. However it is not clear quite why the Scandinavians would be funding or performing such an espionage program since they do not have any such program and when challenged on this point the Australians said "All we know is we caught some spies with Danish, Swedish and Norwegian visa stamps in their passports"4.
Smaug fires rocket scientists
Smaug Inc has sacked a number of its rocket scientists after the scientists announced that problems with the rocket program could comprise rocket safety. The organisation explained that as they had no rocket programs it was clear that the scientists "don't know what they were talking about and we have fired them". When asked for the names and address of the sacked scientists, the address provided by Smaug Inc. led to the top of an island volcano....5
Satellites all the rage
3 agencies (SHADO, GOSsiP and SARSA) have all started satellite programs. The more ambitious program is that from GOSsiP who have an interplanetary satellite, while SHADO's and SARSA's satellites are only capable of earth orbit. However only SARSA and SHADO have an accompanying one stage rocket program. ASA has concentrated on starting a two stage rocket program while Smaug Inc. has started a three person capsule program and has a total of 5 capsules ready for use.6
Two launches planned for 1957
Both SARSA and SHADO have announced their intentions to make a launch during 1957. SARSA's press release claims that as "Civilisation started in Africa, so will the conquest of Space" and that suggestions that a native South African will be the first to experience (and/or suffer) weightless as entirely groundless.
The provisional calendar for launches planned in 1957 (assuming none of the missions are rushed) is as follows:
- 12th Dec
- 13th Dec
Be among the first to see the repaired Julianehåb launch facility.
Watch the polar bears patrolling the site from your very own igloo
See the northern lights
All this from just 1500 kr.
Last updated: December 21, 2021 at 19:36 pm
- Breakthrough on capsule or module program, but as SHADO has no such program as yet this has no effect. ↩
- +1 on every research die purchased during 1957 by SARSA. ↩
- -1 on every research die purchased during 1957 by GOSsiP (yes, that does mean a die roll of 1 is reduced to 0). ↩
- Counter-espionage - reduce the safety factor of a program in another agency to that in ASA - but as no other agency has a two stage rocket program this has no effect. ↩
- Minor rocket problem - but as Smaug Inc has no rocket program at this time - no effect. ↩
- Note: Article updated following reinterpretation of GOSsiP's annual report (i.e., I misread the orders 🙁 ) ↩