The Chronicle

of the month of Kruthos in the year 136

 

Be it known that by Royal Decree, from this day, the 15th of Kruthos in the year of the Kingdom One Hundred and Thirty Six, that the most ungodly and riotous game of football is BANNED, on pain of imprisonment.

 

Observers note with interest that this edict reflects the recent absence of many of the younger people from the compulsory Tenthday archery practice. Alderman Rimon, whose ward suffered badly during the final matches of a football contest was unsympathetic:

“Young whipper-snappers ought to be used as the Tenthday targets…..”

Damage to the Milk Lane Market last autumn was estimated at over three guineas.

The city youth were again the subject of debate in Council Chambers after a dispute between apprentices of the Vintners and the Fishmongers Guilds got out of hand. Fighting had spilled over into Rood Hill, injuring several innocent passers-by. A complaint was made to the Council (loudly) by Mrs Blessop, who had received a broken ankle. A complaint by three apprentices against Mrs Blessop was over-ruled.

Rumours abound of a triple headed demon born at the full moon last month in a house on Burgon Street.

Caveth the Vintner has declared bankruptcy after his third caravan this year has failed to make it through the southern mountains. Creditors are advised to contact the Guild.

Pendentites today attempted to prevent the daily preaching of Gax the Heretic from their temple steps. After a brief, polite discussion the ex-Mandatien was persuaded to leave. A spokesman from the temple has refused to comment on this development.